


Breakfast with Ouma

by orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Ndrv3 - Freeform, One Shot, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred, i fucing suppose, saihara is sad and ouma is too and they both need a hug thanks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 06:54:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12648432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: (SPOILER WARNING FOR CHAPTER 2 OF NDRV3)After the 2nd class trial is over and everyone is in bed, Saihara Shuuichi finds himself unable to sleep, tormented by intrusive thoughts and guilt. It's 5 in the morning and Ouma Kokichi knocks on his door and invites himself in saying he wants to have breakfast with Saihara.6/14/2018 - this is old an embarrassing i cant physically look at this dont..look at me thanks





	Breakfast with Ouma

I found myself staring at the ceiling and let out a sigh. I shut my eyes tight. I was so tired but couldn’t fall asleep. My eyes were probably red and awful looking. I rubbed my face and attempted in vain to wake myself up a little. What time is it now? 3 am? Well it’d be earlier than I’d thought, if so…. I wish the morning would start already, I can’t stand being alone in this dark, depressing room. I'm beginning to dread every night in fear every attempt to get a good nights sleep ending up like this, staring at nothing for hours, waiting for people to wake up just so I would have an excuse to get up and do things. I’ve already cried so much I just can’t anymore. The headache I gave myself was just starting to subside too. After the first trial ended and I found myself in this same situation I’m in tonight, crying and thinking about how Kaede Akamatsu, my close friend, died. And it was because of my ignorance and stupidity. I felt relieved hearing someone leave their dorm room at the early hour of 6:30 am. It turned out to be Kirumi Toujou, the Ultimate Maid, and one of our cherished friends. No doubt, she was up so early to start cleaning and preparing breakfast for us.  
Kirumi... She was so dedicated. So caring, dependable, trustworthy... She really was like a mother.  
Then she killed Ryoma.  
I can’t get the image of her running away desperately to escape her cruel punishment out of my head.  
It was...sad. Pathetic, depressing, hopeless.  
The moment we saw her attempt to escape, we forgot….no. More like, we _ignored_ what she’d done. Everything that just happened didn’t matter as soon as the slight idea that someone could actually get away from this killing game, from the masterminds clutches, we wanted her to escape. At our core all of us want out of here. We all have different ideas, morals and goals but in the end all of us want the same thing. We’re united through this, though it might be the only thing.  
But….  
Of course... it was unrealistic. Everything about this situation is, after all.  
No one can escape.  
She was caught and we were forced to helplessly watch our classmates desperation kick into full gear as she mutilated her hands and body to climb the thorny vine to her people, her _home._ The wild determination in her eyes...i can’t stop thinking about it, about _this._  
The mastermind is cruel. They gave her what she wanted so badly, so bad she would kill someone for it, only to swipe it away from her at the last second and watch her fall to her death.  
_Tic … Tic … Tic …_  
_It’s almost 5 am now. I really need somebody….anyone!…. but I don’t want to talk to anybody right now. It’s contradictory but... that’s how I feel right now._  
_Kaito?_  
_No, I don’t want to bother him. He might be my….my friend, but don’t want to risk becoming annoying to him and him ending up ignoring me._  
_Who? Is anyone awake now? I might be the only person with insomnia here. No one’s coming. No one is here and I did this. I did it. If Kaede were still alive I know she’d have a plan and this murder would have been prev-_

**BANG BANG**

_Ah...I wonder who that is._  
I slowly forced myself to get up and made my way to the door. I had to stop for a break almost immediately to hold myself up on a shelf because I felt so dizzy and lightheaded. Probably because of the lack of sleep and food and general movement, really. I haven’t really left my bed in hours. After a few seconds of closing my eyes and trying to re-adjust my senses I heard a knock again.  
“......who’s there?”  
**Knock knock**  
_No answer, huh?_ I found myself wishing for both that it would be a murderer coming to kill me but also that someone would come in and comfort me, to tell me it’s not my fault and that we’ll be okay.  
...I immediately felt a strong and nasty feeling of guilt in my stomach for even fantasizing that I deserve those kind words. It _is_ my fault.  
I inhaled and exhaled and wondered briefly why anyone else would be awake at this hour, let alone awake and coming to see _me,_ but I was so mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted I couldn’t bother to question it.  
I opened the door and felt...something. I couldn’t quite put my finger on the right word for it.  
Surprise? Excitement? Dread?  
I didn’t know, but there stood Ouma Kokichi, Ultimate Supreme Leader. Or, so he says...he’s made it clear he’s a liar after all. And now we know Maki lied about her talent...  
“What are you...I, um... do you need something?” I stammered.  
Reality was starting to set in as I was starting to zone back into reality, Ouma was standing outside my dorm room at 5 in the morning and I just realized how weird this is.  
Ouma's...well, I wouldn’t call him a bad guy but I often find myself thinking for long periods of time about what could be on his mind.  
He’s playful, he’s a liar, he doesn’t seem care at all about our friends being killed or the danger we’re in and he’s constantly making things confusing and more difficult us.  
He just likes to provoke people and watch their reactions for his own amusement.  
I wish I could understand how or why he can still act like that even through all of this…  
But I can’t.  
And I can’t understand why he’s here of all places, and now of all times.  
“I want to come in!”  
He said it casually but I picked up on a twinge of hesitation and...anxiety?  
Ouma wasn’t looking up at me, as he pushed his way past me and ran inside, uninvited.  
“O-Ouma?” I half whispered and half shouted in his general direction as I quietly closed the door behind him.  
By the time I’d turned around, just a second later he was sitting on the edge of my bed and his demeanor was different from when I’d let him in.  
He was back to his usual smiley, childish self, kicking his legs playfully and patting his hands lightly on my bed, smiling right at me. Either I misread his mood or he hides his anxiety _really_ well.  
“Ah...Ouma, can I ask what you’re doing here?” I let out a yawn, “It’s pretty early, I thought everyone would be sleeping....”  
“Well, obviously because I knew my dearest friend, Saihara Shuuichi was in emotional distress!”  
He sounded shocked, and placed his hand over his chest dramatically, like it should’ve been obvious why he was here.  
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, I couldn’t tell if I was amused or annoyed.  
It’s not like he even woke me up or anything, I was awake the whole night.  
In fact I was the one hoping someone would come to me….Hmm.  
I shook my head and walked towards the bed and stopped.  
For some reason I didn’t want to sit down with him, so I just leaned against a wall and slid down to sit on the floor.  
“For some reason, I don’t believe you.”  
“Well, I thought you might say that, after all I am a liar and the evil leader of a big evil secret organization, it’s no wonder a just and honest detective like yourself wouldn't trust me.”  
He laughed his usual childish giggle and put his hands behind his head.  
“It’s not that I don’t trust you I just..”  
“Just what?” Ouma interrupted, “It’s just that I’ve done nothing but prove to be an annoying, inconveniencing brat?”  
I sat up with a start, “Wh- No! … I mean, I...” I sighed. “ It’s just I don’t know when I can trust you or not since you lie so much, that’s all. I still consider you one of us…” I trailed off and looked quietly into a corner of the room. The state of the room was the exact same as from before Ouma came in but for whatever reason, It seemed less... sad now.  
Maybe it was because someone else was in the room too. Maybe that was the thing keeping the horrible, terrifying, violent intrusive thoughts from wreaking havoc on my brain for now.  
Maybe he was doing it.  
_In some ways Ouma was like an ang-_  
_Wait, no. No, no, no. That’s enough, let’s figure out why he’s invaded my room._  
“Shuuichi, I’m offended. I thought you’d love to see me! I was thinking we could head to the kitchen early and make some tea!” He paused.  
“Of course I’d just tell you what to do. You can handle making the full meal since you're bigger and stronger than I am.”  
“Full meal? I thought you just wanted tea.”  
“You really want to drink just tea at 5 in the morning and not have breakfast to go with it?”  
“Huh? 5?” I looked at the clock and sure enough it was 5 am. I'd been looking at the clock this whole time but not really processing what time it actually was until now.  
“Soooo? What do you think? Huh? Huh?” Ouma leaned forward excitedly and brought his face very close to mine.  
I turned my face away, embarrassed and stuttered.  
“Ah- Uh, But I- I mean, don’t you- want anything...else?”  
_Oh no, that came out weirder than I meant for it to._  
_Wait, maybe it doesn’t sound weird but completely normal and Ouma didn’t take it the way I imagined._  
_W-Wh- But then what does that say about me?_  
“Shuuchi!” Ouma leaned back and put his hand over his mouth, “Are you trying to insinuate I came here to take advantage of your emotionally weak and sleepy state to have my _way?"_  
_Fuck, he did take it that way._  
“N-No i didn’t mean that at all! Sorr- Sorry. I just- ...I guess I just can’t get over how..strange it is that you so suddenly came to my room right when I-”  
I paused. No, more like I caught myself.  
Ouma tilted his head, quizzically.  
“Right when you what?” He questioned.  
“...It’s nothing. Nevermind.” I sighed again and scratched my head.  
“I won’t bother trying to figure out why you do the things you do.”  
Ouma laughed, “That’s not something an Ultimate Detective should be saying! Ha ha!”  
“Hmmh...” I just groaned in response.  
“Did you already give up on finding the truth, Shuuichi?” He asked with a teasing tone.  
“Didn’t both Kaede and now Kaito give you pep talks about this? And you’re still like this? Wow, I guess we have to scold them and tell them to work harder, huh?” He clapped his hands and sang, “Kae-de~ Kai-to~ Work hard! Work hard!~ Make our dear Shuuichi feel so! So! Good!” He stopped clapping and laughed, amused at his own song.  
“I...I just….”  
“Huh? Hey, Shuuichi. Don’t tell me you're mad at me. I did you a favor here.” His face looked annoyed. “Are you so angry you’re gonna finally snap and kill me? Well…. I’ll have you know, Shuuichi, I won’t go down without a fight!” His worrying expression was gone and again replaced with his usual childish fun one. I was getting dizzy…  
“Of course I wouldn’t hurt you.” I quickly blurted out, I don’t want anyone to have that image of me in their heads. I don’t want to hurt anyone!  
“Why? It’s normal to want to, y’know.” He finally jumped off the bed he’s been sitting on and crouched down to be at eye height with me where I was still sitting against the wall.  
“In fact I’d probably say it’s healthy feeling violent urges towards me, to keep me in my place, y’know? You shouldn’t let people walk all over you! Stand up for yourself!”  
He got down on his knees and slid closer.  
“Are you a wimp? A baby? A stupid child who doesn’t even know when to speak up? Huuuuh?!”  
He whispered in my face, crawling closer and closer and I back up as far as I could into the wall.  
The wall that was trapping me, vulnerable to him. I didn’t feel…’scared’ I would say... I don’t know how to put it. I felt an uncomfortable feeling, sweaty and uneasy and after all this I definitely felt awake now.  
I wanted to run away, or push him away, or ..or, anything! Anything that would stop the tight feeling in my chest that made it so hard to breathe.  
At that moment I realized it was just the two of us alone in my dark dorm room. Even more, it was just us with him cornering me so closely.  
So close, I could so clearly feel my heartbeat and hear his breathing.  
My hands were shaking and I could hear myself breathing heavily. More like panting...I really hate myself...why am I being so gross? Can’t I just be normal? I gulped and prayed to God that I could drop dead and be gone before anything else happened.  
I could feel my body tense up with Ouma on his hands and knees over me, my eyes darting back and forth between spots on the floor. Avoiding the troublemaker directly in front of me, at all costs.  
I breathed a shaky breath.  
“You’re...You’re r-right…”  
“Hmmm?” He tilted his head, brushing his hair lightly across my nose. I shut my eyes tight.

“You’re right, I am weak! I just….I don’t know what to do! Ouma, I don’t … I can’t do this...”  
Ouma paused and backed away with a face that surprisingly didn’t show any malice. I thought he would’ve for sure laughed at me, or yelled at me, or hit me or anything really! That’s not what he did.  
Ouma wasn’t cornering me anymore, he had backed away and was just sitting across from me now.  
On his knees, with his hands folded and listening. I felt so incredibly grateful to have Ouma with me in that exact moment. I was so glad he was here, with me, that he’s letting me talk like this without saying things like “You’ll be fine, just don’t focus so much on yourself.” or “Just stop being so hard on yourself.”  
He didn’t give me superficial advice or try to change the topic and leave.  
He was listening to me.  
I felt closer to Kokichi than I’d ever felt before. Like I was getting special access to even just a small part of his true self that no one else could see.  
“I do keep going back to the way I was before. I hate it, I do! Kaede tried her best to help me get better but I-” I choked and managed to hold back the tears from pouring out for all to see. I don’t want him to look at me.  
I’m ashamed.  
“I really can’t keep going. I … I want to disappear. Ryoma tried so hard to find a reason to live and fight with us but I can’t even pull myself together for one second!” My eyes were starting to well up with tears again.  
_Ah, this is weird... I thought I was out of tears... I cried so much earlier and before that and... and...everyday and….every night…I really cry too much...I’m so pathetic..._  
Ouma’s expression stopped looking blank to me, he didn’t look like he was judging me or looking down on me, I really felt I could tell him everything in that moment.  
_But why? Why Ouma? Is it because I don’t know anything about him and want him to at least know more about me? Or…._  
“I don’t want to be here, I want to die so badly but I feel so guilty for thinking like that knowing Kaede and Kaito both wouldn’t want me to.” I was full on crying by then, sniffling and wiping my eyes desperately trying to hide myself.  
_God, I must look so disgusting. So sad and pathetic. I wouldn’t blame him for wanting to punch me out right now._  
“I’m f-fail- I’m fail-failing the-them- I c- I ca-”  
I tried my best to get out a full coherent sentence, telling him I'm sorry and it's okay to leave but I was too choked up. _I sound gross. I sound like a squealing pig._  
_I wish he would just hurry up and kill me. Please. Leave, just let me rot here. I’ll be okay after I sleep. I promise._  
I hiccuped and sniffled and hugged my legs closely to hide my pathetic, ugly face in my knees.  
_Just go. Just go away. Stop staring at me. Don’t look, please.....wait....is he gonna blackmail me? Is he gonna threaten to tell everyone what happened here if I don’t do something for him? Is h-_  
But Ouma did something unexpected.  
He scooted himself closer to me and started to raise his arms. I flinched. He paused for a second but resumed slowly moving himself closer and closer and then he….  
He hugged me.  
It wasn’t a very comfortable hug because I was already hugging my knees and he just kind of wrapped as much of his arms around me as he could manage. Now his chest was, probably kind of painfully, pressed against my knees and his head was resting against my forehead.  
I don’t think either of us felt too comfortable.  
“It’s okay to... feel bad... You..you don’t need to always feel happy for it to mean you’re recovering...even just the fact you’re opening up about it and that you still wake up and go out every morning is proof you are getting better. I…um...I'm also...”  
“...Ouma?”  
“Nothing.”  
“...”  
He didn’t say anything as he rubbed my back and let me cry into his arm.  
_Ouma really is like an angel…._  
My body completely relaxed as i moved my legs down and I pulled him closer to sit cozier with me, to make for a much more comfortable embrace.  
This is really nice... I don’t what this to end....  
It was in this embrace, on my cold dorm room floor, with Ouma now comfortably leaning onto me with me doing the same to him, holding my hand with my other arm around him, I realized why I was so interested in Ouma. Why I was always thinking about him and wondering what he’s up to.  
Why I kept hanging out with him even though everyone knows he's a liar and didn’t seem to care about anyone but himself.  
Why I always talk to him when I see him around the school grounds, and why I always find myself wanting to stand close to him to make sure if he says anything silly I could defuse a potential fight because I don’t want to see him getting hurt, and why I find myself feeling disappointed and sad when he doesn’t eat meals with us and goes off alone all the time.  
_It’s because i want to know him better._  
_I want to become someone special to Ouma._  
_I want to give him everything, I want him to trust me with his deepest secrets, I want him to trust me completely to feel safe with me, and so we can take on this killing game together._  
_It’s because I…._  
I smiled to myself and rubbed my face into Ouma’s shoulder.  
Ouma was smiling too. He hadn’t said anything but he was just as nervous and upset as me...  
I think we both really needed this.

After a few peaceful minutes of silence Ouma sat up and turned to face me. I think my tears were dry by now but my face must still look awful.  
His voice changed from the serious, kind of sad sounding tone he had before to his usual cheery voice and he was sitting across from me once again and cupped my face in his hands.  
“Hey, hey Shuuichi! do you really think I would let our most powerful asset give up so easily? I need you to solve these mysteries so I can get home, detective boy! I have people I miss dearly, y’know!”  
I moved Ouma’s hands down from squishing my cheeks, and held them.  
“O-Oh? Who?”  
Ouma gave a mischievous look as he stuck out his tongue,  
“Haha, just kidding! I lied just then. I don’t have anyone, of course!”  
“D-..Do... _we_ not count?”  
“...Huh? What do you-” He slowly tried to slide his hands away from my grasp, but I didn’t let him. I held on tighter and said confidently,  
“Well...um, I just thought you were our friend too. I certainly consider you important to me.” I smiled at him.  
Ouma looked….well, stunned.  
He was at a loss for words, for once.  
“I...”  
I felt a kind of pride knowing I was probably the only person in this place who rendered _Ouma Kokichi_ speechless.  
I cleared my throat, sat up straight and stretched out a little.  
“Ouma, I’m saying... I want you to rely on me. I want you to consider me enough to care about your safety. If anything happened to you, I would really hurt. You can trust me, okay? You really helped me here...I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really want to help you too. However I can.”  
I rubbed my eyes and looked up at Ouma, who have a dumbfounded look on his face.  
I was smiling. It was genuine too.  
I felt happy thinking that maybe I could help Ouma too.  
I squeezed tighter on Ouma's small hands and said very clearly.  
“So, Ouma, Is there anything you want from me right now?”  
Ouma looked a little sweaty and flustered as _I_ cornered him this time, with that question.  
Suddenly Ouma threw his hands up, still holding mine and shouted,  
“Aaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! Shuuichi, what do you think you’re doing!!”  
Ouma held both our hands above our heads in a kind of arch, and looked me in the eyes, smiling that same mischievous smile I love seeing.  
I was still smiling too. _We_ were smiling together.  
“What, did I say something weird?” I asked, feeling a little embarrassed now.  
“Saying something so dramatic, but sweet...with a hint of an innuendo…..Are trying to swoon me, Mr. Detective?”  
I laughed. We laughed.  
“Haha...m-maybe?”  
“Oh...”  
“Oh..?”  
“Oh, Shuuichi, don’t tell me you..fell _in love_ with a dangerous criminal like me!”  
_That was it... I fell in love with him._  
_I love Ouma Kokichi._  
“Um...haha, w-well….” I looked around nervous and flustered. The confidence I had a second ago to say something so cheesy was gone.  
Now I just feel embarrassed and sweaty.  
Ouma stopped laughing for a second and looked at me seriously.  
“W-Wait do you….actually…love….” He trailed off and looked at me with a worried expression.  
I couldn’t get any words out no matter how hard I tried so I just nodded really fast.  
“Oh…” Ouma’s voice was quiet, like he couldn’t believe it.  
We both stayed quiet for a moment, blushing like dummies.  
_God, now we’re both blushing. Wait, maybe this is better that now we’re in the same boat..._  
“Ouma, I-”  
“Hey, I got it now!” Ouma interrupted with an excited shout.  
“Ah, what is it..?”  
“I know what I want you to do for me now!” He said with an innocent smile.  
“Oh...well, what do you want?”  
“I..want you …. Saihara Shuuichi, to….” He advanced towards me with a smile.  
I blushed and turned my head away with my eyes closed. Heart pounding.  
“....Okay, g-go ahead….”  
“Make me breakfast now! I’m starving! I wanted to eat a long time ago but then you started crying and crying and I had to swaddle you, you baby! Ah!! Look, It's already 6:30!”  
“Eh…”  
“Hmm?” Ouma tilted his head. “What did you think I was gonna say?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Nothing? Really? Nothing at all? Then why did you say ‘go ahead’ like that?”  
“Do you want your eggs scrambled or fried.” I was already heading out the room.  
“Hey, why can’t you tell me? Tell me! I’m your boyfriend now, we have to be completely honest with each other! Relationships built on lies result in pain, Shuuichi.”  
_Boyfriend..._  
“Yeah, yeah. C’mon, let’s go already…”  
Ouma and I walked the quiet, empty halls to the kitchen idly chatting, joking and laughing with each other, we reached the kitchen where Ouma boiled water for the tea and I found a bowl and the eggs, and we started making a breakfast for two. I think I want to do this every morning. Eating breakfast with someone you love in the early morning feels nice. Afterwards, when the morning announcement played at 10, we went back to my dorm and took a much needed nap. Holding onto each other with a feeling of security neither of us had felt in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing a fic and publishing it! I hope that maybe even a few people could find some enjoyment from this. Thank you for reading! It's pretty short and..have mercy on me cuz im doing all of this at 3 am. thank you god  
> Feedback and constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated! ^-^


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